The lesbian from the night before is back. The first time we met, it was a dressup party and there were some savants that I photographed while everyone was throwing flour. She’d pursued me then. Last night, I found her in the bathtub. Bubbles. The door was old and difficult to lock, but I figured it out well enough. I sat on the edge of the tub. We didn’t know what was going to happen. I kept all of my clothes on and she made a noise. “What?”, I said. “Nothing, I’m just going to vomit,” she said with a scared smile. I knew exactly what she meant. I felt the same. After I got naked and stood in the middle of the bathroom, I was interrupted. I stayed naked in the next room while family came in and out and I looked through my pictures of my short hair and the savants. I’d wanted to show her the one of when my hair was short. I’m always doing that, dragging myself into it.

There was a new, smaller, female bulldog. I’d been calling and calling Mack, who was behind me with his legs in the air waiting for a belly scratch. The female bulldog wanted a new name, so we had a staff meeting and I erased some  notes from the chalkboard and we wrote them all down. Some were: Penelope (she liked that one) and Mirabella. “But I like your name. You look like a Sound.” “No,” she said, “They named me Noise.” She was talking because she’d turned into a girl with some moxie and eventually, I think, into the lesbian. I was naming my lesbian. Maybe.

As I wandered down through the street and it turned into a carnival, not figuring where I was, I realized I’d been here before in another dream. It was the Jersey shore carnival of the neighborhood in the last dream, but tonight it was happening. There was the waterworks park and the dumpy showgirls in garters and pasties. There was the animatronics creature show, just as before. As I navigated the pool, wondering why there was swimming in winter, I got my bearings. I was on the other side of Poplar. I’d been trying to get to a street in Center City and knew how far I was from it now, but how close to home as well. A burly-longing dude in a long black pea coat and black gloves and a black hat was around. At the casino sector or something. I thought, he looks like he’s going to kill someone. Which is what I told Max earlier in life, when he came in wearing the same clothes sans hat. Anyhow.

He wasn’t really threatening. In reality I thought he was pathetic. I tuned into him hanging around and wondered directly if he was stealing from me. I was leaving and thought he was going to hit on me. He was stealing my money.  He’d stolen Bear, which came out of his sleeve. I attacked, speaking loudly the way they tell you to when being harassed in Egypt. Drawing attention. YOU GIVE ME BACK THE THINGS YOU STOLE. He did. We thought to have  a drink. He semi-morphed into Mary, who in life helped me sort out my hot money mess. Someone could take $300 and you wouldn’t even notice it was missing, she’d said in life. Now we sat at the bar. “Promise me you didn’t take $300. Promise me. PROMISE ME.”

(Source: thatswhatthewatergaveus, via renklerinsavasi)